


home is where the heart is (but i don’t have one)

by makemelovely



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: F/F, Pining, Pre-Betrayal, Pre-Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships, Unresolved Tension, raven cleans Terra up after a fight, the team is mentioned briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23777461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makemelovely/pseuds/makemelovely
Summary: Raven helps Terra clean her wounds after a fight.
Relationships: Raven/Tara Markov, Tara Markov & Raven
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	home is where the heart is (but i don’t have one)

After the battle, Terra shrugs out of her costume, wincing as the material scrapes against her tender bruised and the blooming cuts dotting her body in various places. There’s one just underneath her ribs, another smudged against her knee, and one ghosting along her shoulder blade.

She rubs absently at an old bruise on her hip, something dark and hollow inside of her chest where her heart should be. It’s in the moments after the battle that the void opens up inside of Terra, rendering her nothing more than a gaping black hole looking for something to fill it. Static buzzing all along her skin, a million tiny knives being driven just under the skin.

Tara Markov is many things, but stable is not one of them. She remembers all of the sneers thrown her way, the word crazy dripping from scornful lips as if it was the worst thing Tara had ever heard. It wasn’t, but they didn’t know that so in a way it was.

What Tara Markov never was, though, was weak. She hadn’t been weak, but Terra was strong. Terra was clever and witty and maybe the words slipping off her tongue were meant to cut, but nobody had to know that. Nobody had to know about the rage itching beneath the skin or the way her hands used to shake when the earth was but a tool at her disposal.

Nobody needed to know that her eyes weren’t her own, her ears not just for listening. They were to listen, and she was to report. That’s how it works, but, of course, nobody needed to know that.

Terra has many secrets, but this is one she will take to her grave: when the earth moves at her command, and her insides are shifting beneath her skin, and her bones are cracking beneath the weight of not a destiny, but a purpose, all she really wants is a home. A place to rest her weary self down and stay for awhile. All of Terra’s life she has been temporary. Now, she just wants to be permanent. Her feet glued solidly to the ground, her mind at ease. Here, in a home, she wouldn’t feel the urge to run or lie or cheat or steal. She wouldn’t self-destruct.

That’s all wishful thinking, though, because Terra’s home is with Slade. She knows that a home is pain. It’s a bloody nose and scraped elbows and a bruise blooming on the underside of her jaw. It’s a low voice and the shape of fingers glaring red on her hips. Home is a man in a mask who could kill you if he wanted to, one cold blue eye and a chuckle that scrapes at his vocal chords, a sound that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

Having a home is overrated. No matter _what_ the Titans say. They can stay in their tower all they’d like and claim they’re a family, but Terra’s seen Robin’s strained smile and Raven’s cold disinterest directed towards every joke Gar’s ever told. They can pretend all they’d like, but there’s a certain kind of satisfaction to knowing that eventually they’re all going to hate each other. Divided they will fall.

Terra’s pondering this thought when she hears a knock on the bathroom door, two sharp concise knocks that ring clearly in the glaringly clean room. Terra scrubs are her eyes, post battle exhaustion beginning to set in. When she swings the door open, Raven stands before her, regarding her blandly and showing her the disinfectant and rag. “Donna thought you might need some help cleaning up.” Raven tells her placidly.

“Oh. Okay.” Terra says dumbly. Didn’t they think she could bandage up her own wounds like a big girl? Or did they suspect she was hiding something?

Raven wets part of the cloth and reaches up. Terra flinches as she moves to touch her, suddenly aware of how small the bathroom truly is and how close Raven is standing now. “I can’t help you if you flinch, you know.” Raven reminds her as gently as she can, waiting for Terra’s nod before she proceeds.

Terra inhales sharply, breathing shaky as Raven gently dabs at the cut on her cheekbone, taking care to delicately clean the cut. Next, she smoothly takes care of the bloody lip Terra’s sporting, the split having occurred early in the battle when their villain of the day kicked her square in the face. It had hurt like hell, and Terra had barely been able to keep the rage from bursting out of her skin, the earth trembling beneath her feet as she struggled to regain control of her emotions without giving her hand away.

It had worked, just barely. It’s not like Terra doesn’t love a good fight. There’s nothing better than throwing yourself into battle. The whirl of fists and powers blurring the air until it’s nothing but an adrenaline-producing all out brawl. Terra’s proud of her bruises and the ache of her ribs and the burn of her legs. But the moment she’d been knocked down that quickly in the battle, all she had felt was embarrassed. It has simmered beneath her skin until all she could see was red and all she could feel was the power the earth could give her had she just let herself go.

It had been Terra’s rock that kept him from getting away. A careful boulder pinning him to the ground until the police could get there. She had saved the day, and that almost made her split lip worth it. Terra’s mind briefly flashes back to the mental tang of the blood in her mouth, her lip glistening and her heart beating like a hummingbird’s.

Terra jolts when Raven reaches behind her, water running over the cloth until she deems it suitably wet. Terra allows her eyes to flutter shut as Raven cleans her face, warmth gently wiping away the dirt and blood left behind in battle.

The geokinetic girl leans into her touch, her eyelids heavy as she grows accustomed to Raven’s tender touch. She wonders what it would be like to have this dedication at all times, Raven thoroughly dedicated to completing this task to the best of her abilities.

It’s an addicting thought, one that sends shivers down Terra’s spine.

“There.” Raven clears her throat, Terra’s eyes subsequently opening at the sound of her voice. Terra can’t help but notice that the other girl looks embarrassed, her eyes gleaming in a way Terra’s never seen before. “I’m finished.” Raven announces, turning and disappearing from the room.

Terra stares in the wake of the girl, wondering what that had been about. Her back is pressed against the cold sink, and she feels at peace, and almost like she’s loved. Like this has been an act of affection, of companionship. Terra wonders if Raven loves her, and her skin tingles.

**Author's Note:**

> if ur interested my tumblr is @makemelovely and my Twitter is @taramarkcv


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